Keeping Watch
by blueseacowboy
Summary: A WHN (sort of) for the episode "Killers of the Deep"


Keeping Watch

A WHN (sort of) for the episode "Killers of the Deep"

I always thought there should have been more to this episode.

Brilliant orange, red and yellow flames danced in the blustery night air about Admiral Harriman Nelson and his captain, Lee Crane as they raced down the long debris strewn deck of the USS _Macklin _towards the safety of the life boats far below on the choppy sea. Smoke billowed up from the many fires burning about the sinking ship and swirled about, threatening to choke the officers as they ran towards safety. Explosions deep in the bowels of the ship caused the decking to lurch crazily beneath their feet as they ran making their attempt at escaping increasingly difficult. Reaching the side of the ship, both men hurriedly swung their legs over the side and climbed down the rope ladder to the waiting boats.

Losing his footing briefly on the slippery rope, Nelson bit back an agonized cry as he felt pain slice through him. He felt certain he'd cracked or broken a few ribs when the Flying Sub had impacted the ocean and he suspected he'd been unconscious, at least for a bit, before he woke to the ocean slapping him in the face. Frankly, he'd been surprised he'd survived at all considering how hard the Flying Sub had hit. _Hard enough to break apart_ he thought sadly.

Finally the two landed safely on the boat awaiting them that was loaded with men from the _Macklin_.

"Take us out of here, Mr. Frazier," Nelson said briefly, seating himself as well as he could on the side of the crowded boat where he furtively wrapped an arm about his middle. The pain in his ribs was something he'd managed to control as they'd played cat and mouse with the renegade sub, but the pain that flared through the left side of his chest now was new and a bit disconcerting.

"Mr. Frazier, I'd like to introduce you to Lee Crane, captain of the _Seaview_. He apparently was picked up by our renegade sub," Nelson said in a carefully controlled voice. "Lee, this is Ensign Frazier."

"Sir, it's an honor," Frazier said to Crane who nodded to the young officer and settled himself by Nelson's side. Noticing the strained tone of the admiral's voice, he glanced over at the man in concern.

"You all right, Admiral?" he heard Lee ask.

"Fine, Lee. Now," he said with a smile and a look that told Lee the man had been worried.

Nelson pulled his gaze from Crane's probing eyes and looked to the side of the boat where Ensign Frazier stared forlornly at the burning hulk that had once been his ship.

"How many casualties, Mr. Frazier?" he asked softly.

Frazier turned his eyes from the ship to the admiral then to the boats that floated nearby. "I…I haven't checked, sir. Let me do that now," he said calling out to the boats and asking for head counts while Nelson stared at the burning ship in sadness and recrimination. _If only_….

"We lost forty-five men," Frazier said sadly, interrupting Nelson's musings. "Most of those were in the first attack, sir."

"Damn," Nelson whispered.

"Sir…I want to thank you. If you hadn't been here…well we would have lost so many more. When Commander Lawrence and Lieutenant Stone went down…I don't know what we…I would have done."

"I…I appreciate that, Mr. Frazier but it seems it wasn't enough," Nelson said slowly, trying hard not to groan at the pain that was increasing in intensity. He'd had broken ribs before and knew that once the adrenaline he'd been running on waned, the pain would take center stage. And it was. Yet, a very distinct throbbing seemed to be coming from his left chest and he was pretty certain he hadn't injured that side in the crash. Slowly, he reached a hand inside the life vest he wore and closed his eyes in dismay when he felt a liquid warmth cover his fingers. Definitely did not happen in the crash. That he would have remembered.

"Admiral?" he heard Lee ask again, laying a hand on his arm. "What is it? Are you hurt?"

Nodding slowly, Nelson withdrew his hand and stared down at it. "I would have to say yes to that."

Lee looked down at Nelson's hand and turned it over. Even in the waning light he could see red covering the admiral's hand and he stifled a groan. "You need a doctor. Mr.….Frazier is it? Where's your doctor? The admiral's been hurt," Lee said quietly, trying to control the fear for the admiral that flooded him.

"Wilkins. Find Doc. Tell him Admiral Nelson has been hurt. He's bleeding badly," he said to a young seaman by his side, watching as the man moved carefully through the boat, trying to determine what life boat the doctor was on.

"How did that happen?" Lee asked as he undid the life jacket about Nelson, fingering a small hole on the edge of the vest for a second. Pulling Nelson forward gently he took the life vest from him, folded it and placed it behind the admiral, easing him back onto it.

"I…I don't know. I don't remember being hit. Must have happened when the sub took exception to the fact I was trying to ram her," he said, remembering the rounds fired towards the bridgeat him. "Didn't feel it until just now."

Lee ripped Nelson's shirt open, exposing the wound to the glimmer of light from the burning vessels and stared down in trepidation as he watched blood trickle from the wound. Patting his pockets, he cursed softly when he could find nothing to staunch the flow of blood with.

"Here, sir. This may help," Frazier said, handing him his handkerchief grimly, swallowing hard as he watched the blood flow from the wound just to the left of the admiral's sternum.

"Thank you," Crane said tightly as he pressed the cloth to Nelson's chest, ignoring the small gasp of pain that came from the man.

"Were you able to get your position out? Any idea how long until we can expect help?" Lee anxiously asked the young ensign by his side.

"_Seaview_ was the closest, sir," Frazier said. "She was fourteen hours away last time we had contact, but she was on her way. She may only be…eleven or twelve hours away now. Maybe less."

"Twelve hours," Lee whispered as he watched the blood flow from Nelson's chest. It was too long.

A thin beam of light illuminated the wound suddenly and Crane glanced up to see a man holding a flashlight.

"Wish I could do more, Admiral," the man said softly.

"It's all right…Flynn isn't it?" Nelson said to the sonar man by his side. "Just a scratch."

"Aye, sir," he whispered. He'd been astounded when THE Admiral Harriman Nelson had been rescued from his downed Flying Sub and even more astounded when the man had stepped in and took control of the vessel when the top command staff had been killed. Although when he thought about it, he didn't know why. He _was_ a four-star admiral and hadn't gotten his stars by being incompetent or by political means. That much he knew. But he hadn't been aware the man was such an expert at sonar. He'd heard things from the sub and the surrounding water he hadn't and _he_ was known as an excellent sonar man.

His musings were interrupted by the arrival of Doc Sims who crawled over several of the men nearby to get to his patient.

"Admiral Nelson? I'm Doctor Chet Sims. Wilkins tells me you have something I need to look at," he said grimly.

Crane pulled the cloth from Nelson's chest and heard Sims make a small noise in his throat that Crane felt sure he didn't want to know the meaning of. He knew the wound was bad but he'd hoped he was wrong.

"How did that happen?" Sims asked as he rummaged in the small bag he had by his side.

"Not sure. I didn't notice any blood or pain until I got on board the life boat here," he said softly, noticing the bag the doctor had brought with him seemed to have limited supplies. "Had to have happened when I was on the bridge and the sub was firing on it. A bullet or some shrapnel must have caught me. Never felt it."

"Hmmm, probably running on adrenaline. Adrenaline wore off and the wound made its presence known. I suspect you already had that part figured out," he said with a small smile as he glanced down into Nelson's face.

"Flynn, I need more light. If you could find another flashlight or two, that would be great," Sims said as he probed the wound, ignoring the slight moans from Nelson.

"Aye, sir," he said quickly as he handed the light in his hand to Crane and looked about for another flashlight.

Crane focused the beam of light on the area the doctor was probing, trying not to let his feelings show. The wound was bad and he had no idea where or when help might come to the crew…and Nelson. Glancing into Nelson's tightlipped face, he saw his eyes were focused on him and knew his thoughts had been written on his face anyway. Trying to reassure Lee, Nelson smiled slightly.

Another beam of light joined the first and Doc Sims looked up. "Thanks, Flynn. Keep it focused here," he said pointing to the wound he was attempting to staunch the flow of blood from.

After a few minutes and some swift bandaging, he sat back and stared down at the pinched face of Nelson. "That's about all I can do here, Admiral. The bleeding has slowed down. Don't move around and it may stay that way."

"Doc?" Lee called, pointing to the admiral's right side where a large, dark bruise was now visible in the added light. "I think there's more wrong than just the bullet wound."

Leaning closer, Doc nodded. "What else happened to you, sir?" he asked, looking closer at the contusion.

Nelson was quiet for a bit then he shot a quick glance to Lee and shrugged. "When the Flying Sub went down, I guess I hit my ribs on something."

"You went down with the Flying Sub?" Crane asked in surprise. He knew Nelson hadn't been right behind him, and the sub's captain had told him he was the only one to get out, but he'd held on to the belief that Nelson had managed to get out somehow before she crashed.

Nelson's curt nod was all the answer he needed. "The sub jerked just as I was going out the hatch. Threw me back inside. I knew I couldn't get out in time. I tried to regain control but she was damaged too badly. She broke up. Sank. Don't ask me how I got out. I…I don't know. I must have been knocked unconscious. Woke up when a wave hit me in the face."

"You should have said something, sir. It's always easier if we know what's wrong so we can treat it," Sims said quietly as he probed the bruised area trying to see if any of the ribs were broken. "Are you this reticent with your own doctor on _Seaview_?"

Crane's snicker earned him a glare from Nelson. "I didn't feel it. At first."

"So at some point you did feel pain from your side and you didn't say anything?"

"There wasn't a lot of time. I was no sooner hauled out of the water and on board than the first torpedoes hit. With Commander Lawrence and Lieutenant Stone dead…I had to do what I could to track down the sub."

"Well, you have a few broken ribs to add to your chest wound. We can also assume you have a concussion since you were unconscious. Not much we can do for that," he said after he finished touching the area Nelson would just as soon he left alone. "I'll wrap your ribs, give you something for the pain and start you on antibiotics. Reaching for his bag, he stopped when he felt Nelson's hand on his arm.

"How many are hurt?" he asked quietly staring into the face of the man beside him.

"A few."

"How many?"

"We have ten of our own crew hurt pretty badly…burns mostly, a few with shrapnel or bullet wounds. One of them won't make it too much longer. A few others beside those ten have minor issues that aren't life threatening. We also have two of the sub's crew hurt that we managed to save. One has a gunshot wound to the stomach and the other has some severe burns."

"And they're in a lot of pain? In need of bandages? And your resources are limited I would imagine?"

"Yes sir," he said, not knowing where the admiral was going with his questioning. "My resources _are_ limited unfortunately. There wasn't a lot of time to gather supplies and some that we managed to assemble were lost when one of the life boats turned over."

"Then use those…," he said gesturing to the syringe in his hand and the bandages beside him, "…on them. I'll be fine."

"Admiral…"

"I said I'm fine, Doctor. I know how painful burns are. And stomach wounds," he added. "The pain I'm in is minimal. And if I lie here quietly, the ribs will be fine."

"Admiral, your wound is going to become infected if we don't get help soon. I…"

"It's no use, Doc. He won't listen to you. He might even try to fight you if you try to give him anything," Lee said with a slight smile at Nelson who glanced up in surprise. "Our Doctor Jamieson could avow to that."

Sighing in resignation, Sims nodded. "Very well. Lie still. If you change your mind, have someone find me," he said as he closed his bag and moved off to his other patients.

"There she goes," a soft voice said. Nelson and Crane turned to watch the _Macklin_ disappear beneath the sea taking the sub and the missiles with her. Crane looked down at Nelson who stared with a strange look on his face.

"My fault," he said softly, almost too softly to hear.

"No, it wasn't sir," Frazier said. "We were damaged too badly. If it was anyone's fault…well, it was mine. I ordered the course change when the bow lookout reported a periscope. I…I should have waited for your orders."

I doubt they would have been any different than what you ordered, Ensign. We…I got conned by a better officer."

"He's right Admiral. It wasn't your fault," Lee said in concern.

"Ultimately, it _was_ my fault…my responsibility," Nelson said, his voice becoming weaker as sleep called out to him.

Lee watched in concern as Nelson turned his head to the young ensign. "Don't forget this moment, son. Remember the pain and the anger you feel and make damn sure you do everything you can to make sure it never happens again."

"Aye sir," Frazier said quietly, never taking his eyes from his sinking ship.

"You should try to rest, Admiral," Lee said, laying a hand on Nelson's shoulder and squeezing gently. "There's nothing left for you to do but lay still."

"I…I don't seem to have much choice," he said as he lay his head back against the life vest behind him and gave up fighting the fatigue that washed over him. Closing his eyes, he let sleep find him and he drifted off.

"He doesn't really blame himself does he, sir?" Flynn asked quietly when he was sure Nelson was asleep. "We couldn't maneuver. Even if the torpedo hadn't been mistaken for the sub, we wouldn't have been able to turn in time. I'd vow that to anyone."

"Me too," Frazier added. "We were damaged too badly in the first salvo of torpedoes.

"I appreciate that. So will he," Lee said as he looked down at Nelson. "When he really takes the time to think about it that is."

~O~

The hours passed slowly for the men watching and waiting in the crowded boats for sign that rescue was near. A bright full moon rose over the restless ocean sending out rays of golden color to light the sea and the boats. All evidence of the battle that had taken place earlier had been erased by the sea that had claimed the vessels. All that remained were the men that occupied the life boats, each fighting their own battles of memories, wounds, or anger.

Lee gazed about him at the boats bobbing in the rough sea, heads huddled together talking or staring out at nothing, some with their heads back doing their best to sleep. Glancing at his watch, he grimaced as he knew _Seaview_ was still several hours away and there was very little they could do but wait. How many of the injured would survive until she came? He stared down at the admiral, restless in his sleep, moans occasionally escaping his lips and placed a hand on his forehead, frowning when he felt the warmth there.

Taking the handkerchief Frazier had given him earlier, he rinsed it in the cool ocean water and dabbed it repeatedly over Nelson's face, neck and chest, hoping it helped in some way. Helplessness filled him as he knew there wasn't anything else he could do for the man lying still and wounded by his side.

"How is he?"

Crane turned at the ragged voice he heard and smiled sadly. "Alive. Sleeping. Or unconscious," he said, watching as the _Macklin's_ doctor, fatigue lining his face, crawled closer to his patient and placed a caring, gentle hand on Nelson's forehead, frowning as he did so.

"He's warm. Infection's setting in."

"I know," Lee said softly. "It's been rising for a few hours now."

"I could give him something," Sims said, looking up at Crane with a question on his face.

"You know what he said, Doc."

"But he's not awake to tell me no, is he?"

"Yes, he is," a weak voice said.

Looking down, Lee was surprised to see Nelson's eyes open. Even in the muted light of the full moon, he saw fire in the man's eyes and he smiled, somewhat relieved to see it.

"Admiral…"

"How are the men, Doc?" Nelson asked, trying to sit up a bit and instantly regretting it as pain tore through him. At Lee's gentle hand on his shoulder, and his soft admonition to stay still, he decided he was fine where he was and lay back, stifling the moan that threatened to tear from his lips.

"Well, two men have died. The one I told you wouldn't live passed away about two hours ago and the man from the sub with the burns died about a half hour ago. The rest are holding their own."

"Prognosis on them?" Nelson asked, his voice beginning to lose its timbre.

"I don't expect the man from the sub with the stomach wound to last much longer. One of our men is close now. If a rescue ship comes in the next few hours he has a chance. The others should make it."

"Supplies?"

"They're dwindling. Bandages are gone, morphine is almost gone. Antibiotics…pretty close to gone."

"Not a pretty picture, Doc," Nelson said grimly.

"No sir. It isn't. How are you doing? How's the pain?"

Nelson snorted slightly. "The pain is doing just fine."

"Your temperature is up," the doctor said, scowling down at Nelson, who stared back unflinchingly.

"I know. Not bad yet though."

"And how do you know that?"

"Experience," Nelson said with a slight smile and a glance to Lee who stared back at him in worry.

"I can give you something. Just say the word."

"No. The others need it. You know that. And _Seaview_ will be here soon."

"Admiral…"

"No, Lee. I said I'm fine."

"He always this stubborn?" Sims asked with a raised eyebrow at Lee.

Crane's inelegant snort caused Nelson to smile slightly. "This? This is nothing. Try getting him to stay in bed when he's hurt or sick. The only reason he isn't trying to get up right now is there's no place to go and no room to move about."

"Well, I pity your doctor. Sleep at least, Admiral. And don't try getting up. You'll get wet," Sims said with a light pat on Nelson's leg.

Lee watched the doctor move back through the gathered men then glanced down at Nelson whose eyes were open and staring at him.

"I'm sorry, Lee," he said softly.

Crane looked down at Nelson in confusion and leaned closer. "Sorry? For what?"

"I…I didn't come look for you. I wanted to. Chip…I could tell he was upset that I didn't have them search for you. Even Commander Lawrence...I could see it in his eyes," Nelson said, his voice weakening.

"Admiral, we had a mission. I would have done the same. It would have killed me not to look for you but…I would have done it. Rest now," he said laying a soothing hand on Nelson's forehead, trying not to flinch at the heat he felt there or let his worry show. "You need to rest. Don't worry about anything."

A brief nod and Nelson's eyes slid closed.

Lee looked about him, his gaze landing on Ensign Frazier whose eyes flitted from one boat to the other as if keeping watch on all his men, most sleeping or trying to. With the command staff of the _Macklin_ dead, he was the highest ranking officer save for Nelson and himself.

"You should rest too, Mr. Frazier," Lee said softly.

Frazier's eyes darted back to Crane as if he had forgotten he was there. "I…I just wish there were more I could do. More I _could_ have done," he said softly. "I wanted to stay on the bridge with the admiral but he…he kicked me out. I thought it was my place to be there."

"Because it was your ship?"

"Yes, sir. Not that it would have made a difference I guess."

"I suspect Admiral Nelson was just trying to keep you safe. What he planned…ramming the sub was…extreme to say the least."

"We were hit by torpedoes shortly after the admiral got onboard. That's when we lost Commander Lawrence and Lieutenant Stone. One of the torpedoes hit but didn't explode. We thought it was a dud but the admiral went down, checked it and said it was live. I was never so scared in my life when I heard it ticking away but the admiral was so…so calm. He said he was going to defuse it then gave me orders on what to do. He had that sub captain's maneuvers down to the second. He got the torpedo defused and was back up top when the next salvo went right passed us. Just like he thought," he said shaking his head in wonder.

"That sounds like the admiral," Lee said with more than a touch of pride in his voice as he looked down at Nelson.

At least I can tell my father I got to serve with the admiral. If for only a bit," the ensign said with a small smile. "Never thought that would ever happen once he retired. My father served with him briefly in Korea. Said he always knew he'd be something special."

"That he is," Lee said looking down fondly at the man that had become quite important to him.

"It must be something else serving onboard _Seaview_," Frazier continued.

"It _is_ something else. Like you, I never thought I'd have the chance to serve with him again. But I am. It's like a dream."

"Maybe some day…well, maybe I'll be lucky enough to serve with him again," he said softly.

Knowing Nelson's penchant for snagging promising officers from the Navy, Lee smiled. "Perhaps, Ensign. Perhaps. Now, I suggest you get some rest. I'll keep watch," he said holding up a hand when he saw Frazier was about to argue. "I'm not tired."

Frazier looked down at Nelson in understanding and nodded. "Yes sir. Wake me if you want to sleep. I'll watch him for you."

Crane nodded and smiled as he watched the young ensign curl up in a space barely big enough to sit in and fell promptly asleep. Who knew? Perhaps someday Ensign Frazier would find his way aboard _Seaview_ as a young officer.

Crane sighed and wiped a weary hand over his eyes. He had to keep awake in case Nelson needed him. It was if he felt as long as he stayed awake, Nelson would continue to breathe, his heart continue to beat. Leaning over the side of the boat, he splashed cool water on his face and instantly felt better. Taking the handkerchief from Nelson's forehead, he rinsed it in the sea water and placed it back on his head. "Hang on, Admiral. Just a little longer."

~O~

Something - a touch, motion or a moan from Nelson - startled Crane awake and he sat up looking about in confusion. He'd fallen asleep! He hadn't meant to but he had. "Admiral!" he called looking about him in worry, afraid he'd slipped away while he had slept.

"He's all right, sir," a voice across from him said. "He's still asleep. Fever's a bit higher I think but he's still with us."

Crane looked from Nelson's pale face to Frazier's across from him and frowned. "I meant to keep watch. How long was I asleep?"

"I don't know. I woke up about an hour ago and you were out. You were tired, sir."

"We're all tired, Ensign. I should have stayed awake. I should have kept watch on him…and the others," he said with regret. What if Nelson had slipped away while he'd been asleep? Could he ever forgive himself if he had? Reaching a hand to Nelson's wrist he took his pulse, relieved to feel it still beating beneath his fingers. A quick touch to his forehead told him the fever was getting worse.

Rubbing a hand over his grit filled eyes, Crane glanced about him at the boats that lay scattered about the ocean that was just now beginning to pick up the pale, pastel colors from the rising sun, turning it pink and purple.

"_Seaview_ should be here soon, sir," Frazier said. "We haven't drifted too much from where the _Macklin_ went down."

"Knowing Mr. Morton, our executive officer, he'll do all he can to shave time off his estimate," Crane said with a slight smile.

"I guess you're right," Frazier said with a smile on his face and his gaze fixed on something over Crane's shoulder. "Look."

Turning Crane saw bubbles breaking the surface of the water then the unmistakable form of the most beautiful submarine in the world rose to the surface. He watched as men began to appear on the deck, rushing to their duty stations, then saw a blonde head appear on the bridge and heard the unmistakable voice yell, "Hello the boats!"

"Mr. Morton! It took you long enough!" Lee yelled as he knelt in the boat, his eyes turned to the sub.

"Lee…Captain? Is that you? How…?"

"Answers can wait. We have injured. One of them is the admiral. Have Doc make Sick Bay ready to receive patients."

"Aye, sir!" he yelled as he called orders down from the bridge to below.

"Mr. Frazier, start the boats toward _Seaview_. Injured first."

"Aye sir," he said as he called orders to his men, smiling when they hopped to it. The boats slowly made their way to the side of the submarine where the injured were removed quickly and efficiently and taken below. Crane helped pick Nelson up and handed him into gentle hands that laid him on the deck carefully. A quick look to Jamieson's frowning face as he did a cursory exam did nothing to alleviate the fear he felt for the admiral.

"Get him below," Jamieson said softly to the nearby corpsmen.

Crane watched, lost in thought as Nelson disappeared inside his sub.

"Need a hand, Captain?" Chip's voice called from above. Shaking himself mentally, he smiled and reached a hand up, grasping Chip's and felt himself pulled easily to the deck.

"Thanks," he said before reaching a hand down to Frazier, pulling him easily aboard. "Mr. Morton, this is Ensign Frazier of the _Macklin_."

Frazier saluted Morton who returned the salute crisply and with a smile. "Welcome aboard, Mr. Frazier. Your men are being taken below as we speak. Kowalski here will take you below and show you where your men are or will be. We won't have much room to move about onboard until another ship arrives and we can off load you to more spacious accommodations but I suspect it's more room than you had on those boats," Chip said gesturing to the life boats lined up by the side of _Seaview_.

"Thank you, sir. I'd appreciate waiting to go below until all the men are safely aboard."

"Very well. When you're ready, Kowalski will show you the way."

"And Captain Crane…when you see Admiral Nelson, will you thank him for me?"

"I will," he said as he watched Frazier move off down the deck to where more of his men were climbing aboard the submarine.

"Were we ever that young and green?" Chip asked as he watched Frazier help his men aboard.

"I suspect we were but I sure don't remember it," Crane said rubbing his hands over his arms.

"What happened? How did you get onboard the _Macklin_?" Chip asked quietly.

"Long story short…I was picked up by the missile stealing sub after the Flying Sub went down. The admiral did his best to sink it. And did. I got out in time."

"I know there's more to that story," Chip said as he watched Crane's face.

"Not now, Chip. I…"

"…want to see how the admiral is. I know. Go on."

~O~

Sick Bay was in a frenzy as patients lined much of the room, the most severe injuries taking precedence over broken bones and cuts.

"Doc?" Crane called as he saw Jamieson leaning over the still body of Admiral Nelson.

Looking up, he saw the concern on the man's haggard face and stopped his retort of how busy he was. "He's alive. Fevered. I don't know any more than that right now."

"The others?"

Sighing, Jamieson rose and stared at Crane. "We have assorted crewmen with minor injuries and we have nine severely injured. A few of those have shrapnel or bullet wounds. Eight of those I'm fairly certain should make it."

"And the other one?" Crane asked, knowing who the other one was.

Jamieson looked back at the man being attended by corpsmen. "I don't know yet. He's weak and the wound is infected. I need to do X-rays…operate. I can't tell you more than that right now. I need to get back to my patients," he said, dismissing Crane with a pointed look that said _Go away until I call you_.

Nodding, Crane headed for the door but turned back, watching as Nelson was attended to and felt his heart clench at the thought it could be the last time he saw him alive. Turning abruptly, he headed from the room knowing he had things he needed to do.

A quick trip to the Control Room found Chip waiting as if he knew his visit to the Sick Bay would be short.

"All the _Macklin's_ men have been given warm food and are bedded down as well as they can be in any available spot. We're pretty crowded and our food supply is going to need restocked soon."

"Thanks Chip. I suspect we'll be making a stop at Pearl before we head home."

"Also, the Navy is sending some ships to guard the area until they can recover the missiles from the sub. As soon as they arrive we can offload the _Macklin's_ crew and the prisoners, then head for Pearl. The area the sub's resting in isn't too deep so recovery shouldn't be a problem."

"Good. I'm glad they didn't ask us to do the recovery. I don't want to see that sub again. What about the men from the sub by the way? Were there any survivors?"

"A few. From what they said, most didn't get out in time. Many of those died either before they got to the life boats or shortly after. Survivors have been, or will be treated, given clothes and food and sent to the brig until further orders."

"That's fine, Chip. Let them stay there until we rendezvous with the other ships."

"Aye sir," Chip said watching Lee closely as he clenched his jaw in irritation. "What happened out there? Want to talk about it?"

A few seconds went by then with a curt nod, he headed to the Observation Nose, closed the doors once Chip was through and began pacing in front of the windows.

"What happened, Lee? When I was in contact with the admiral, he said he didn't know where you were. Quite frankly he didn't seem to care."

"You know that's not true, Chip," Crane said harshly as he turned back to face Morton. "We had a mission. He completed it. I wouldn't have looked for him either."

"Sorry. I… it's just been a bad time all around."

Crane snorted and ran a hand over his face. "Tell me about it."

"So what happened? The admiral was kind of reticent about everything that happened when I'd talk to him."

"He had a lot on his mind, I suspect, Chip. Not sure how much of this you know but the Flying Sub got hit by a missile from the renegade sub. We lost control. Had to jump. Only the admiral was thrown back into FS-1 before he had a chance to get out. He didn't have time to try to jump after that so he went down with it. Got picked up by the _Macklin_. I got picked up by the sub. The sub fired on the _Macklin_ shortly after they picked the admiral up out of the sea. First torpedoes took out the command staff except for a young ensign - Frazier. The admiral took over as ranking officer. He defused a torpedo that hit but didn't explode then played cat and mouse with that sub captain for awhile. Sure gave that sub jockey a run for his money," he said with a smile. "Seemed he anticipated every move the captain made. He frustrated him to no end."

"I would have loved to see that," Chip said with a little smile.

"The _Macklin_ was damaged after the first torpedoes hit making it hard to maneuver," Lee continued. "The sub sent out a decoy that looked like the periscope of a sub and they went after it. The sub fired on the _Macklin_ before they had a chance to turn when they realized they'd been fooled and damaged her pretty badly. They had enough power for the admiral to aim the destroyer at the sub that had surfaced and ran straight at them."

"The admiral tried to ram her?" Chip asked incredulously.

"He didn't just try, Chip. He did it. Kicked everyone off the ship but himself and rammed the destroyer right over the sub."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised at that but…wow. How did you get out?"

"The captain and I had a bit of a fight. I won. I climbed up to the deck trying to figure the best way off before she blew and there's Admiral Nelson above me onboard the _Macklin_ yelling at me. It was as if he knew I was on board and was watching for me or trying to figure out how to get to me," he said shaking his head as he remembered the relief he'd felt at seeing Nelson alive and waving to him. "He threw me a rope, I climbed it and we headed for the life boats."

"How did the admiral get hurt?"

Crane shrugged. "He said he didn't know he'd been hit but it must have happened when he was on the bridge. The sub was firing at him. He must have taken a hit and didn't know it. And he broke a few ribs in the Flying Sub crash."

"You know, he never told me he went down with the Flying Sub," Chip said with a frown. "So he was hurt but didn't bother to tell anyone?"

"How'd you guess? Once we got to the lifeboat, he began to feel his injuries."

"Adrenaline wore off," Chip said nodding.

"Yeah. I guess. The _Macklin's_ doc did all he could…all the admiral would let him do…for him."

"Let him?"

"Supplies were low. The admiral refused pain meds or antibiotics."

"Left them for the others," Chip said with an understanding nod.

"Yeah. It was a long night."

"I imagine. But…he's going to be all right. You know that."

Crane was silent for a minute as he stared out the huge windows in front of him. "I'm trying to believe that," he said quietly. "I just can't believe he went down with the Flying Sub, survived, took a bullet, shrapnel…whatever in the chest and won't make it. I just…"

"Look, get some sleep. Take a shower. Eat. Just…don't stand here staring out the windows worrying about him. It's not going to help him and you know he'd hate that."

"You're right. I know you are. And I…I could use a shower."

"Don't take this wrong but yes, you could. You smell like fish, smoke and motor oil. Not a pleasant combination," Chip said with a smile. "And get some food. And sleep."

"One thing at a time," Lee said with a slight smile as he turned towards the stairs, then turned back. "If you hear anything…?"

"I'll beat down your door and tell you. Go."

Chip watched Lee walk up the spiral stairs slowly and marveled again at the relationship Lee and the admiral had developed. He'd known in his heart that not searching for Crane was the right thing to do but it hadn't stopped him from being a bit resentful that the admiral didn't even try. Lee on the other hand had no such qualms. He knew duty and he knew where Nelson's heart lay. He just hoped the admiral survived. He didn't want to think what life would be like without the mercurial, brilliant man who was fighting to stay alive in the Sick Bay.

~O~

Crane headed to his cabin and took a long hot shower, relishing the feel of the water on his bruised body and let the water run, as he thought. Nelson had to live. He _would_ live simply because he was too stubborn to _not_ live.

When the sub captain had told him no one else had gotten out of the Flying Sub, he'd felt grief fill him as he contemplated the thought of Nelson, his best friend and commanding officer, being dead. He knew that nothing would ever be the same again if the man was truly gone. He knew _he_ would never be the same. A part of him though had held on to the hope that Nelson had gotten out somehow: a slim hope that his friend wasn't dead. Nelson shouldn't have been able to walk…swim…away from the crash. But he had. And he was going to walk away from this. He had to.

Stepping from the shower, he dried himself off, dressed quickly and began to pace as he waited and prayed he would hear good news from Sick Bay soon. A quick call from the Control Room informed him the ships they were waiting for had arrived and the crews of the _Macklin_ and the sub were already being moved to the destroyer _Harris. _At least that was one less thing to worry about. Once the crews were offloaded, _Seaview_ could get underway and head for Pearl Harbor with the wounded and injured.

When the waiting for word from Sick Bay got to be too much as he paced in his cabin, he decided to head down and wait, whether Jamie liked it or not.

Just as he reached the door to his cabin, he heard Jamie's tired voice call him.

"Jamie? How is…?" he asked anxiously.

"You may come down, Captain," he said briefly and Crane's heart sank.

"I'll be right there."

The walk to the Sick Bay took less time than normal and Crane had to slow himself down once he reached the door to the room. Taking a deep breath, he entered and searched the bodies on the gurneys scattered about the room. Not finding Nelson his heart skipped a beat and fear filled him.

"Captain? Over here."

Turning at Jamie's voice, he saw him standing in a small room off the main Sick Bay area and followed him inside.

"I put him in here. Too many people and too much activity out there," Jamie said as he leaned over Nelson's prostrate form. His chest wrapped in bandages, IVs attached to his arm and the steady beep of a heart monitor met Crane as he walked through the door.

"How is he?" he asked softly, noticing that more bruises covered Nelson's body than he had seen in the dim light on the boats.

"Alive," he said succinctly. Looking his captain in the eye, he smiled. "I think he'll be fine. The shrapnel went in on an angle but we managed to repair the damage it did. It missed his lung luckily and didn't come too close to his heart. He lost a lot of blood though and the wound was infected, but his vitals are stabilizing. His BP is coming back up and his heart rate and respiration are improving also. The broken ribs are of no consequence. He's had worse. He also has a slight concussion but he'll be over that before we reach port."

"You said shrapnel. It wasn't a bullet then?"

"No," he said reaching for a mangled piece of metal lying on a table nearby. "This is what it was."

Lee took it in his hand and turned it over, examining the small but almost deadly piece of metal. "Has he been conscious?"

"No. Not yet. Maybe soon if you want to wait," he said smiling at the look on Crane's face that said of course he would wait.

"Jamie, the bruises? I didn't see them on the boat. Is anything else wrong?" he asked in concern.

"The bruises are rather superficial. Painful I would imagine but nothing that needs treatment. All in all, he came through the crash surprisingly undamaged. And alive," he said with a touch of wonder in his voice.

Crane's audible sigh of relief met his words and Jamie smiled.

"I have some other patients I need to help Doctor Sims with. Why don't you sit down," he said as he pulled a chair up to Nelson's bedside. "You look exhausted."

"I'm…"

"…fine. Yes I know. Sit anyway. And I'll have some food brought in. I know you aren't hungry but eat it anyway."

A brief nod was all the answer he got.

Jamie glanced down one last time at Nelson, looked to the monitors and, satisfied, walked out leaving Crane alone with Nelson. His eyes never leaving Nelson's face, he slowly lowered himself to the chair by his bed and watched the man before him, pale and silent, his breaths shallow and shook his head as he thought of all the times he'd spent in just this position over the last few years. How did the man continually cheat death? Laying a hand gently on Nelson's, Lee leaned back in the chair, intending to keep watch over him again until he awoke, but drifted into a restless sleep instead that was interrupted by a soft moan a few hours later.

"Admiral?" he called, as he stood up and leaned over the bed, smiling as he saw Nelson struggle to open his eyes.

"Lee? Where…?"

"We're on _Seaview_. You're going to be fine."

"The…the men? The _Macklin_?" he asked as a slight moan escaped his lips and he raised a hand to his chest.

"Easy. Don't worry about any of that now," Lee said as he took Nelson's hand and lowered it to the bed.

"I do worry. Tell me."

"The _Macklin_ sank. Remember? But she took the sub and the missiles with her. They won't be used by a foreign power now. The Navy sent ships to guard the area until the missiles can be recovered. The sub should be easily accessible so it isn't a problem. The _Macklin's_ crew and the survivors from the sub are onboard the destroyer _Harris_ now and headed for Pearl. Just as we are."

"The injured?" Nelson asked, struggling to ward off the sleep that beckoned to him.

"They're fine, too. Those that had minor injuries were taken aboard the _Harris_ and the rest are here with you recovering in Sick Bay. They're all going to make it. You were hurt pretty badly, you know," Crane said softly staring into Nelson's eyes. "But there's nothing you need to do right now except…"

"Rest. Yes, I know. But…"

"No buts. Doc says you're going to be fine but you need to rest."

"I just want to…to ask…about…" Crane smiled as Nelson's eyes flickered closed and his face relaxed as sleep claimed him.

"You can ask anything you want. Later," he said patting the hand beneath his, happy there would _be_ a later.

~O~

The next few days passed quickly as Nelson, who spent much of his time asleep, continued to heal nicely, if not fast enough, for the irascible admiral. The infection began to respond to the antibiotics and he slowly regained his strength.

Their arrival at Pearl, where the injured were being transported to the Naval Hospital, was accomplished quickly and Lee Crane began to relax a bit. Their orders were simply to stand down and await further orders which meant a long awaited shore leave in one of the world's most beautiful ports. The men were released for leave and Lee and Chip were content to visit the still recovering admiral at the Naval Hospital or troll the tourist areas when he kicked them out. It also meant time spent surfing or swimming in the crystal clear waters of the Pacific Ocean.

The two were stretched out on Kuhio Beach a few days after their arrival, enjoying the warmth of the tropical sun on their faces.

"You see the admiral last night?" Chip asked, his eyes closed and his face turned to the tropical sun.

Lee lowered his upturned face and sat up. "Yeah, I did," he sighed. "He's stronger. Impatient to be out of the hospital as you'd expect. Why?"

"Did you see what I saw?"

"You mean that pretty nurse that was spending an inordinate amount of time taking the admiral's vitals and smiling at him?" Lee asked with a grin.

"Ha, yeah," Chip laughed. "She _does_ seem enamored by him."

"He wasn't pushing her away was he?"

"No, no he wasn't. He seemed to be enjoying her attentions actually. I think he was amused by it more than anything. But…what I meant was…well does he seem…I don't know how to say it."

"Down?" Lee supplied.

"Yeah. He's quiet. Too quiet. When he thinks no one is watching, he gets this pensive, almost sad look on his face."

"I know. I think he's blaming himself," Lee said with a sigh.

"For?"

"For the _Macklin_ going down. For the men that died."

"Why would he think that was his fault?"

"He thinks…in his words…that he got conned."

"From what I heard from some of the men, Frazier in particular, no one blames him. They all think he saved them," Chip said quietly.

"He did. Ensign Frazier tried to take responsibility for ordering the _Macklin_ to turn and go after the decoy without waiting for the admiral's orders but the admiral deflected that saying it's what he would have done."

"Me too. It was a good trick. Maybe we should utilize that sometime," Chip said with a laugh.

"Maybe we should. You know, I can't see an ensign fresh out of the Academy taking on a submarine with the experience that captain had winning. No matter how good he was," Lee said quietly sifting sand through his hands as he pondered Admiral Nelson's reaction to the sinking. "If the admiral hadn't been there, more men would have died and the sub would have gotten away with the missiles. But the admiral still thinks he made a mistake that cost men their lives."

"That's all he can see right now, Lee. In time, he'll see he saved a lot of lives and saved so many more by catching the sub."

"And getting our missiles back," Lee added.

"Well, Jiggs Starke showed up last night to check on the admiral. Maybe he can get through to him."

"Maybe, Chip. I hope so."

~O~

Admiral Harriman Nelson stood at the window in his room at the Naval Hospital overlooking the Pacific Ocean, anxiously waiting for the doctor he hoped was going to allow him to return to _Seaview_ to continue his recovery.

"See anything interesting out there you old sea dog?" a voice from behind him boomed.

Turning he saw his old friend, Admiral Jiggs Starke standing there, a big smile on his craggy face.

"Jiggs! What are you doing here?"

"Visiting an old friend! What else?" he said as he walked to stand by Nelson's side. "I heard what happened. You all right?"

"Me? I'm fine. Can't convince the doctors of that though. They insist on keeping me here for "just one more day". Which they've said three times now," Nelson said irritably.

"Give it time. From what I heard you had a rough go."

Nelson snorted. "I had a rough go? I had nothing," he said quietly as he turned from the window and paced back to a chair by his bed and sat in it.

"Harriman…what's bothering you?" Starke asked as he sat on the bed by Nelson's side and stared at him in concern.

"What's bothering me is people dying, Jiggs," he answered softly.

"You mean the _Macklin's_ men?"

"Them and the sub's men."

"I take it you're feeling responsible for what happened."

"Uh, yes. Yes I am. I got conned by a sub jockey from some third world nation. Yeah, I feel responsible."

"Remembering the lives that were lost is an understandable thing to do. But to focus on that and only that is shortsighted. What you have to remember are the men you saved. The _Macklin_ wouldn't have had a chance at all if you hadn't taken over for Franklin."

"Frazier," Nelson said simply.

"What?"

"The ensign's name is Frazier."

"Whatever," Jiggs said throwing a hand in the air. "You need to remember the men you saved, not focus on those that died, Harriman."

"It's not that easy, Jiggs. It's not that easy to forget."

"You think I don't know that? You think I've forgotten how it feels to lose men?" Starke blustered. "I didn't! But I know it will eat you alive if you think on it too much. You completed the mission. You took those missiles out of the hands of an unstable country. _That's_ what you need to think about. Those forty-five men didn't die in vain and they didn't die because of you. You took over a damaged ship and kept her men alive."

Nelson stared at his old friend for a long time before a slight smile began to cross his face. "Anyone ever tell you what a pain in the butt you are?"

"Many times. What's your point?"

Nelson laughed lightly and smacked Starke on the leg. "The point is…you're a good friend. Thank you."

"You done feeling sorry for yourself?"

"Maybe. Probably not. Might be easier if I could get out of here," he said grumpily.

"And why would you want out of here, Admiral," a silky sweet voice called from the door. Both men turned to see a svelte, fortyish nurse with brown hair tucked up into a trim bun standing by the door with a clipboard in her hand. "You don't like Hawaii?" she asked with a quirked eye.

Jiggs turned back to Nelson who had a slightly amused expression on his face as he turned his gaze from the nurse to Jiggs and lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, Harriman. Why _do_ you want out of here so much?" he asked in a soft voice designed for Nelson's ears only causing his friend's face to redden slightly. "I'm going to go. I'll be at your debriefing so I'll see you then if not before. Remember what I said."

"I'll try," Nelson said with a frown.

Rising, Jiggs shook Nelson's hand and patted him on the shoulder as he passed by. "You take good care of that old sea dog. Don't let him get to you, Kathy, is it?" he said to the smiling nurse, glancing down at her name tag. "He's really a teddy bear."

Nelson's exasperated sigh and Kathy's laughter were the last things he heard before he headed off down the hall, secure in his belief that Nelson was truly on his way to getting better and closer to realizing he'd done all he could.

~O~

Two days later, Nelson was finally released from the hospital and was met by Jiggs Starke who whisked him off to a series of debriefings on the renegade sub and its home country after promising his doctors, and Crane, to keep a close eye on him.

Recriminations from naval brass, as well as other higher ups, hadn't materialized and Nelson, although still feeling the weight of the losses on him, relaxed somewhat and tried to move on.

Ensign Frazier and Seaman Flynn had been at the briefings and had sung Nelson's praise to those in attendance causing Nelson to squirm in embarrassment. Apparently he was the only one that could see his fault and he tried to let go of the guilt.

Before the meetings broke up, Nelson cautioned the gathered group that better safeguards needed to be instituted on the missiles lying in the unattended silos: something he had tried repeatedly in the past to have put into place but to no avail. Hopefully, his words would be heeded this time and not brushed off. Sometimes he questioned why he didn't just retire completely and go live on a desert island where he could study marine life in peace and quiet. But he knew the answer to that was in his sense of duty.

"Well, Harriman, you did all you could to get them to see it your way about the safeguards," Starke said as he drove Nelson from the meetings to the dock where his submarine awaited him.

"Yes, but will it do any good?"

"Humph! It better! You warned them there wasn't enough protection on those missile silos when this project was first dreamed up! You'd think this episode would open their eyes!" he blustered.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Nelson said quietly, his gaze on the passing Hawaiian scenery.

"You all right?" Starke said as he turned his gaze from the road to Nelson.

"Just tired, Jiggs," Nelson said with a slight smile. "I always get tired after dealing with Washington and all its machinations."

"Don't blame you," Jiggs said as he pulled out onto the dock _Seaview_ was berthed at. "Well, here we are. And there's that tub of yours."

"Tub," Harry muttered under his breath, knowing his old friend was only trying to get a rise out of him. Not having the energy to argue with him, he decided to let it go for once.

"Thanks for the ride, Jiggs," he said as he pulled himself slowly from the car before Jiggs could get out and try to help. He did not want any of his crew seeing him being helped out of a car he was perfectly capable of getting out of by himself.

"My pleasure. It was good to get out of that room and drive somewhere! All that hot air was making me a bit nauseous."

"Yes, you old Navy admirals aren't supposed to drive yourself places you know," Nelson needled. "That's what your drivers are for."

"Bah. It's like they think we've forgotten how to drive."

"Well, you'd better get back before you're missed," he said holding his hand out to Starke who took it tightly in his.

"Stay out of trouble, Harriman," Jiggs said staring Nelson in the eye, concern for his friend's health evident. "You're getting too old to be continually fished out of the sea, you know."

"Too old? Get out of here, Jiggs," he said with a little push, immediately regretting it as a brief flare of pain hit him. "Get back to your desk."

"I will. But…take care old friend. I mean it."

"I know you do. And I will do my best. Dinner's on me next time you're in Santa Barbara," he said as he headed slowly for his submarine, a hand on his aching chest.

"Deal!"

Nelson climbed carefully down the ladder to the Control Room, ignoring the twinges of pain that accompanied the action. Reaching the bottom he turned and, as expected, found Lee by his side, a questioning look on his face.

"Briefings are over, Captain. Take us out of port."

"Aye sir! Mr. Morton, make us ready to sail!"

"Aye, Captain!" Morton replied.

"How did it go?" Lee asked, surreptitiously examining Nelson's face for any sign he had overdone it.

"About as well as can be expected considering it was Washington," he said quietly as he untied the tie from his neck, opened the top button of his shirt and laid the tie and his jacket over the rail of the periscope island.

"I'll take those to your cabin for you, sir," Kowalski, who had come up behind Nelson unnoticed, said.

"Oh thanks, Ski," he said as he handed the items to the man.

"It's good to have you back aboard, sir," Kowalski said with a big smile.

"Thanks, Ski," he said quietly as the rating disappeared out the hatch. "I have a little information from the briefings if you want to hear it and have the time. I don't think some of it was brought up during your debrief."

"I've got plenty of time," he said with a smile as he followed Nelson to the charting table where Nelson pulled a chart from a stack. "I told them all I could. Gave them the captain's name but I didn't know a lot more than that. Not the name of the country or the name of the sub for that matter. Don't think I was very helpful."

"Well, Washington is still seething over the theft of the missiles as you can imagine," he said as he unfolded the map.

"I bet!" Lee said in anger. "I'm not too happy about it either."

Spreading the map out on the charting table, Nelson pointed to a small dot on the map. "Well, there it is, Lee. A small country that gave us some big trouble. UN Security Council already has them on the carpet and they have to pay reparations of course."

"That would have been a lot of comfort if I had gone to the bottom in that sub," Crane said with more than a touch of irritation in his voice.

"I was just thinking the same thing. Look at the trouble I'd of had…finding a new captain for _Seaview_," he said trying hard not to smile.

"That won't be necessary now, Admiral," Lee said adamantly with a frown causing Nelson to break into a laugh.

Looking up at his captain, Nelson smiled. "No, no it won't. Will it?' he asked as he threw down the pencil he held and headed slowly for the spiral staircase. "Let me know when we've cleared the harbor."

"I hope you're heading to your cabin to rest," Lee said in concern before Nelson had gone very far up the steps. "You're supposed to still be recuperating you know."

"Rest? I've _been_ resting. I left a lot of things in the lab undone before we started this whole sub hunting fiasco. I'll be there for the foreseeable future. Or until you or Jamie come to harass me," he said with a big grin as he walked at a slower pace than usual up the stairs.

Crane smiled as he watched Nelson climbed the stairs, relieved he had recovered from his injuries and the sadness and guilt he'd wrestled with had apparently been dealt with. Or hidden inside.

Knowing Nelson's penchant for overdoing it, he thought a visit in about an hour to convince him he was still recuperating and needed to rest was in order. _Consider it harassment if you want, Admiral but someone has to watch out for you, _he thought to himself. _It looks like that person is me. And I'd fight anyone that tried to take my place._

With a smile, Crane folded the map and called, "Mr. Morton!"

"Aye sir!"

"Take us home!"

_The End_


End file.
